Dealing with money matters can feel like negotiating a minefield for many couples, which is highlighted in this article by Maya on Money.
Money has been cited to be the biggest reason for divorce, and differing attitudes towards money in any relationship can cause friction. So let’s take a look at some basic ‘money personalities’ and you can decide with which you most identify. This may not only help you to manage your relationships, but also how to go about managing your wealth creation.
1. The Spendthrift
A spendthrift tends to be extravagant and spontaneous with regards to money matters. However, sometimes they can be irresponsible and need protection from making financial mistakes and getting into debt that they can’t afford.
2. The Saver
Someone who saves may have quite modest tastes and needs, and long-term they may well reap the rewards of their cautious approach. However, their financial prudence and love for budgeting could be a turn-off for someone who is not that way inclined.
3. The Cinderella
Maya Fisher-French refers to the ‘Cinderella Complex’ in her article when she considers a woman’s unconscious (or conscious) desire to be cared for. Some people are simply looking for a partner who can spoil them, which Fisher-French refers to as a Blesser.
4. The Financially Independent
Other people make it their main focus to become financially independent so that they can manage their money and responsibilities on their own. They pride themselves on working hard to become financially organised and not needing to rely on anyone else. This type of person may fret about being pulled down by someone who is less financially astute.
5. The Power Hungry
Power plays can arise if someone uses money to wield power over their partner. The adage, “he who holds the gold, makes the rules,” may be true in some relationships - especially if there is a big difference in earnings. Money can create a shift in power that can be easily abused if both parties are not careful.
According to the article, sometimes “different money personalities can be compatible” as a balance can be achieved so long as each partner recognises the strengths they are bringing to the relationship. For example, a Saver can help a Spendthrift to avoid some financial miscalculations, while a Spendthrift can teach a Saver to loosen up and enjoy splashing a bit of cash sometimes. Likewise, someone who enjoys spending money on their partner could be compatible with someone who enjoys money being spent on them.
However, at other times, opposing attitudes can create contempt or power struggles. According to the article, difficulties sometimes arise when it is the woman who is the main breadwinner, as some men find this emasculating. This is a challenge that is increasingly being faced by high earning women. When the shoe is on the other foot, however, many women do not mind having a strong, financially successful partner.
The key is knowing what type of money personality you and your partner have, and to find synergy in your relationships. It’s not necessarily a question of having the same attitude and approach to money issues, but rather finding compatibility and compromise.